I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy